I Understood it To Be A Blessing More Than A Curse
My first “call” to Ayahuasca came about during an experience in telepathy. Afterward I couldn’t differentiate dreams from reality. In a * State of High Indifference that ebbed and flowed for some years, I experienced eventual dissociation from pleasure.
View with a Grain of Sand by Wislawa Szymborska
We call it a grain of sand,
but it calls itself neither grain nor sand.
It does just fine without a name,
whether general, particular,
incorrect, or apt.
(the poem continues…)
Playing around with magic, I became the telepathic being I witnessed in me at age fifteen who continually ascended into different vibrational dimensions and planes of existence. On Ayahuasca it becomes fully grokked that, “each neuron receives, evaluates, and transmits information to as many as 60,000 other neurons,” writes Timothy Leary, “To Locate Higher intellicence in atomic nuclei which link up and communicate across inter-stellar space/time dimensions is an eminently practical decision, conservatively in acord with the miniaturization trenc which finds higher biologiclal intelligence in such tiny spaces as the cellular nucleus,” and, “We think of Kekule’s serpent dream whcih set the stage for organic chemistry.”
My immediate take away from the Amazonian teams effects is the Creator of the Universe has made it such that is is “I” that programs reality through my creativity. In the past I’ve drank the brew in hypnagogic or “pre-dream” states. In an instance of endo-dream tripping there was an ascension followed by a brief stay under a life-tree all preceding a celestial feminine presence who showed me both unconditional love and the need to turn negativity into positivity through drinking the brew and observing synchronicity.
Terence McKenna called DMT the, “strongest psychedelic known to man.” He describes, “A troop of elves smashes down your front door and rotates, and balances the wheels on the after death vehicle, present you with the bull and then depart. And it’s completely paradigm shattering. I mean, you know, union with the white light you could handle. An invasion of your apartment by jeweled self-dribbling basketballs from hyperspace that are speaking in demonic Greek is NOT something that you anticipated and could handle,” and is a common phenomenon experienced by those who smoke DMT. What we are getting is in McKenna’s own words, “An advancement in language capacity.” Psychedelics offer us a glimpse into a, “higher dimensional spacial manifold.”
Physical and Psychical Well Being
Doing Ayahuasca is a lot of work. Acquiring, making time for getting acquainted with the spirits, brewing, etc. I used 375-grams of the vine B. Caapi. Harmine, THH and Harmaline are all present in Caapi and closely resemble melatonin in their molecular structure (both are tryptamine). Tryptamine drugs of this kind also include- but not limited to- serotonin, LSD, psilocybin and DMT.
Contact with Ayahuasca was made weeks prior to the ingestion of the vine and subsequent ingestion of the admixture plants. I was shown that by no small feat of evolution I was undergoing a metamorphosis; a **Reset. As a psychonaut exploring these compounds was aI piercing a field? A morphic or morphogenetic field?
A synchronicity occurred while on Ayahuasca. The plant spirit does to me internally what I do to my external environment- lending to the question of entities. On peyote such example of this fact becomes well known as well. On Ayahuasca there is a disembodied view in hyperspace. Similarly on peyote a disembodied presence makes itself known.
New spaces and higher intelligence, momentarily leaving the planetary orbit, and higher life expectancy are all insights gleaned from these forays with the alien other. I more quickly am able to get in touch with an aspect of myself who contemplates relationships. Ayahuasca the enormity of its size (bigger than the visible Universe) is that! THE WHOLE CONCEPTION OF ME AND MY CONCEPTION OF ME (***A META-CONCEPT) FOR OVER NINE YEARS HAD BEEN CHANGED OVERNIGHT IN A REVELATION. My forray into this plant medicine (and aid in spiritual development) happened in February of this year. The past week I cooked and gulped down a Caapi only tea.
The following is an account of how it went, beginning at midnight:
Programming: A Very Deep Trance
- 12:00 The cellphone is placed off and I begin to connect to breath. The first wave of nausea passes. Waves of euphoria begin in the timeless moment of ecstasy. Continues, until 15 minutes later there is a purge and following that I have a blueberry smoothie±**** “Basically everything is a reflection of my current state of mind,”
- 12:45 This is hella lit +
- 1:05 Substantial wave of hallucination ++ “So I begin to give it gas- I say, ‘I have no power here. I am small. I have four elements in balance. Please Ayahuasca do for me what I cannot. Thank you,’ and I am shown my new state of being. One who is awakened to instinctual drives looking from a distance. My ‘self’ is in a very deep trance.”
- 1:50 Huge relaxation
- 6:30 Awoke to a sound nights sleep
Much of the hallucination provided by the vine is of vast and wide landscapes as well as providing healing to the psyche. DMT when administered orally provides deep insights gleaned from hyperspace as well as healing.
* Wolff had been through the Vedanta training, through the philosophy of Shankara; he knew the philosophy of Kant and others of the Western world; and he spent twenty-five years working to achieve a state of Nirvana, Enlightenment, Samadhi, and so forth. In 1936 he succeeded in this transformation and with varying success maintained it over the subsequent years. He is an amazingly peaceful man now in his eighties. Meeting him, I felt the influence of his transformation, of his recognitions, of some sort of current flowing through me. I felt a peace which I have not felt in my own searchings; a certain peculiar kind of highly indifferent contentment took place, and yet the state was beyond contentment, beyond the usual human happiness, beyond bliss, beyond pleasure. This is the state that he calls the state of “High Indifference.” He experienced this at his third level of recognition, beyond Nirvana, beyond Bliss. -the chapter GOD AS CONSCIOUSNESS-WITHOUT-AN-OBJECT in Simulations of God by John C. Lilly. http://deoxy.org/gacwao.htm It isn’t as though the state itself if bad, only the accompanying thoughts made consciousness unbearable.
** http://reset.me an excellent source into getting to know more about healing plant medicines
***Meta-concept- (from the Greek preposition and prefix meta- meaning “after” or “beyond”) is a prefix used in English to indicate a concept used to complete or add to later. Basically when thinking about myself in the “I” prior to Ayahuasca (into my eventual fall or whatever into dissociation from pleasure) I wasn’t living a demonic lifestyle. In fact I had been causing harm to others through their image of me in my neglect of myself.
**** https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shulgin_Rating_Scale The weird little “plusses” next to trip report descriptions.